How do those thoughts literally get out of your mind? Do something stupid… Self-harm.

An overwhelming feeling of anger, stress and anxiety too has to bring me to this point where I can’t take it no more and where the pain needs to be physical to get out of my mind. This is something I even bypass when talking to my doctor and none of my friends know about this or family. It’s quite hard not being able to talk really out loud about it and I’ve done this as a child too, helps with difficult feelings. It’s not the usual method of cut self, overdose, drugs or drink.

Your suspense is probably building up so I’ll get to the point and that is smashing my head into walls, wooden beams of doors, bed posts, trees. The after maths is different to the others, so it’s painful but soothing and as the blood cells rush towards the head it makes me want to sleep. 

The problem is that for years I’ve not seen this as real self-harm, I’m only banging my head? However there are lots of other different types of self-harm and this is not one I do for attention. Nobody sees it or knows about it and I’ve been doing it for years as a daft coping mechanism because the headache gets me out of my mind directly. The possible side effects I’ve not even googled because I’m scared. 

I’m not doing this as much as previously did, it’s stopped for a long time which is why I’m able to talk about it more, maybe I’ll confess once I’m back in counselling.

Q’s: Have you ever done this kind of self-harm before? Would you even class it as self-harm?  Have you googled what might happen after smashing your head into things with force? Let me know in the comments section below. 

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